Getting Ready
by KNDnumber170
Summary: Patton is running around his house trying to get his children, wife, and aunt ready for his cousin Savanna's vow renewal, but these are Drilovsky's, trouble follows them. Basically, a pudding stained flower girl dress, annoying aunt, whiny wife, and bully older brother who thinks he's stupid. 86/60 Based on an episode of My Wife And Kids


**This is another 86/60 family story but this time it's based on a My Wife and Kids episode. I'll remember what it's called tonight…maybe…**

Patton paced in the living room, looking at the watch on his wrist. He nervously adjusted his green tie and looked up the stairs, at his watch, then at the clock. Josh ran down the stairs in his pj's followed by a screaming Madison in a long, puffy yellow dress. A wreath of pink and yellow flowers around her head. The 6 year old was screaming at her 10 year old brother and he was screaming back.

"Give it back Josh!"

"No!"

Patton walked between the two "What's going on?"

"Josh stole my nose and he won't give it back!"

Patton looked at his daughter, then at his son. "Josh, give her her nose back!"

"No can do dad. I told her if she walked into my room without asking again I was gonna take her nose and throw it down the garbage disposal!"

"Please don't Josh!" Madison begged

"Fine, then I'll take your ears." Patton pretended to take his son's ears, Josh grinned

"Dad, I'm 10 years old. You can't trick me anymore."

Patton acted depressed, then mouthed, without making a sound "Oh, I thought it might work, I guess your way too smart for me."

Josh's eyes opened wide "Okay! Here Maddy!" he pretended to put her nose back on "Now give me my ears back!"

Patton laughed silently and pretended to put his son's ears back on "Are they on? They tight? Let me check them."

Josh nodded and stopped moving so his father could place his mouth near his ear "WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU DRESSED?!"

"Ow! Well, I can now check _have a drill sergeant scream in my ear_ off my bucket list."

"Why aren't you dressed?"

"I don't wanna go to Savanna's wedding. Everyone calls me dumb and Annie's always pinching my cheeks."

"Cover your face!"

"Not those cheeks!"

"You're going Josh, now go upstairs and take a shower because you smell like crap and tortilla chips."

"Hey! I do not smell like tortilla chips." Josh turned and walked up the stairs, Madison walked back into the living room carrying a cup of chocolate pudding

"I'm gonna eat some pudding." She sat down in a chair

"Oh no you're not." Patton took the cup from her "You're a pretty flower girl Maddy and you're not going to stain your dress."

"Please daddy!" Madison cried looking into her dad's eyes

"Nope."

"Please?"

"No Madison."

"I love you daddy!" Madison looked at her dad with puppy-dog eyes

Patton tried to resist but couldn't "Fine, here." He gave his daughter her pudding back "But we're gonna cover you up." He walked over and grabbed Scarlet's yellow rain coat, throwing it over his 6 year old daughter "Good luck getting pudding through that."

Patton headed toward the kitchen when the phone rang, he picked it up "Unknown number?" he answered the phone "Wally, Kuki, Nigel, Hoagie, Abby, Rachel, Bartie, Virginia, I can't really talk-oh, you want to sell me something? Why don't you call at a better time, like when I'm in the shower or having a heart attack? Here, you can talk to the decision maker of the house." He handed Madison the phone then headed up the stairs

"So there's a dog and he's walk-wait…no there's a dog and he's skating-wait...no, there's a dog and he's walking on skates down the sidewalk."

Patton headed toward the bedroom but stopped at his 10 year old daughter's room "Scarlet? What are you doing?"

Joshua's twin sister looked up at her father "I'm ready, see!"

She revolved on the spot in a long yellow short sleeved dress.

"You're ready? Great! One less person to worry about."

Patton left his daughter's room and stopped when he saw his 7 year old son sitting in his room "Trevor, why aren't you dressed?"

"Josh is waiting for aunt CeCe to get out of the bathroom and he said I have to wait for him to get done before I can go in and get ready."

Patton left his 7 year old son's room and went to the bathroom, sure enough; Josh was leaning on the wall next to the door

Patton knocked on the door "CeCe! Open the damn door!"

CeCe opened the door; she was wearing a very short blue dress with pink and purple flowers on it. "What the hell are you wearing?"

"The invitation said sexy casual." Patton's aunt answered

"Yeah, well that's slutty formal and you're not gonna wear it to your nieces' wedding! Now hurry up, I got two sons who gotta use this bathroom."

"Fine!" CeCe grabbed her makeup bag and stepped out of the bathroom "Oh Patton, your wife's looking for you." She grinned then walked into her room

"Okay Josh, get in the bathroom, and hurry up since Trevor still has to get ready."

Patton headed into his bedroom and found Fanny sitting on the bed in one of his tee-shirts and a pair of black leggings "What did you want me for Fan?"

"I need your help to decide which dress I should wear." Fanny picked up a teal, one-shoulder dress and a blue long-sleeved dress "Blue or teal?"

"Uh, blue."

"Okay, I'm wearing the teal one."

"Why do you even ask me?"

"I would actually consider your decision if I thought you had actually thought about it Patton!"

"Okay, next time you ask me to make a choice, I swear I'll think about my decision before making it okay?"

"Good." She walked up and kissed him "I'm gonna go get dressed."

"Well hurry up Fan!" he clapped to hurry her along, she turned and glared at him

"Don't clap at me! What am I a trained poodle or something? Do you want me to jump through a flaming hoop or something?!"

"Only if that hoop leads to the car."

Fanny huffed, then walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.

As Patton walked down the stairs just as Madison was saying "Hello? Hello? Daddy, she hung up on me!"

"Good job sweetie." He kissed her on the cheek and hung up the phone

"I did what you said."

Patton turned and looked at his daughter "What did I say?"

"You said try getting under that, and I did daddy, look!" she lifted off the rain coat to show her pretty yellow dress covered in dark brown chocolate pudding, Patton nearly had a heart attack

"Oh my god…come on Madison, let's go get another dress." He drug his daughter up the stairs and into her room, he opened her closet door and pulled out a fluffy purple dress "You wanna wear this one?"

She shook her head.

He pulled out a long white one "How about this one?"

Madison shook her head again, Patton tossed the dress onto her bed and turned back to her "Why don't you find something in your closet that you wanna wear, put it on, then go downstairs honey." Madison nodded and Patton walked out of the room.

"Patton! Come here!" the 28 year old man growled than walked into his bedroom.

"What Fanny?"

The redhead walked out of the bathroom with the teal, one-shoulder dress on and a pair of black strappy heels, she had a pair of silver dangly earrings and a pair of silver hoops "Which one should I wear?"

Patton had her put both earrings up to her ears then he stared for a few moments before deciding on the silver hoops. Fanny giggled and kissed him before walking back in the bathroom "Good choice but now I need to redo my hair." Patton growled again and headed downstairs.

Three out of four of his kids were seated on the couch, Trevor and Josh were playing a racing game and Scarlet was reading a _People _magazine "Where's your sister?"

Scarlet answered without looking up "In her room. She said she was changing because she got pudding on her flower girl dress."

Trevor laughed "You know mom's gonna be mad if she finds out Madison got some chocolate pudding."

Patton glared at his kids "I need a drink." He headed into the kitchen and grabbed a shot glass and a bottle of strong whiskey, his aunt came in and sat at the table

"We're ready when you are."

Patton looked up and smiled "Thank you lord we might actually make it to the wedding on time!" he drank the shot then walked into the living room with CeCe following him "Finally ready Fanny?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"I'm ready too daddy!" Madison came down the spiral staircase wearing her Halloween costume. A fairy. Fanny walked in a circle around her daughter

"Why is my baby dressed like a fairy Patton!?"

"Um, because someone gave her chocolate pudding and then told her to put on whatever dress she wanted to wear."

Fanny laughed "Well this someone better hurry up and get in the car because his wife is gonna kick his ass in about 5 seconds!"

Patton grabbed his coat as everyone else did the same and they headed to the car. A few seconds later Patton came back inside patting his coat pockets and pants pockets looking for his car keys. "Keys, keys, where are you."

He ran upstairs to look for the keys and after finding them and coming back downstairs, he saw Josh sitting at the table eating a sandwich. "Josh."

Joshua looked up "Oh hi dad."

"Uh, what are you doing?"

"Eating a sandwich."

"Why aren't you in the car?"

"Cause I don't wanna go to the wedding. Everyone there says I'm dumb but I'm not am I?"

Patton sighed "You're not dumb Josh, you're just not smart."

Josh smiled "Thanks dad, let's go to the wedding."

Josh stood up with his sandwich and followed his dad out to the car. The phone started to ring as they were about to close the door, Josh turned around and ran toward the phone but Patton grabbed the 10 year old and pulled him toward the door "Leave it! The machine will get it!"

The phone rang and rang before the machine answered it "_You've reached the Drilovsky household, home to Patton…."_

"_Fanny…."_

"_Scarlet…."_

"_Joshua…."_

"_Trevor….."_

"_And Madison….."_

"_Leave a message after the beep and we'll get back to you when we feel like it."_

BEEP

"Hey Patton, answer the phone idiot! This is your baby sister; the vow renewal is canceled because Annie's got the flu. I guess I could call your cell but I don't feel like it so I'm gonna go eat something. Love you guys!"

**READ! IMPORTANT! READ!**

**Lol, I changed everything about Scarlet except her attitude, I may write a series about the Drilovsky's based on George Lopez episodes and Scarlet acts just like Carmen.**

**Old Scarlet: Curly red hair, pale skin, midnight blue eyes, freckles, looked exactly like Patton and nothing like her twin brother Josh. Dressed slightly punk like her mother, loved the color hot pink.**

**New Scarlet: Curly black hair, pale skin, midnight blue eyes, no freckles, looked exactly like Fanny and the only difference between her and Josh are their eyes and genders. Dressed sporty but sexy as she gets older, loves the color hot pink.**

**Let me know if any of my pictures on DeviantART or my stories on here describe Scarlet the way she use to look.**


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